I finished my last class for this semester. Passed in 44 pages of my new novel, talked about literary agents, and after next week's column final, am done. It's an amazing feeling. Well, there's technically a summer class, so in July I'll really be done, but regardless, the painful process of being stuck in classes interminably and doing homework nonstop can at least take a break for a few weeks.
I still managed to squeeze in some writing with the Phoenix. Apparently my soul needs grammar. I bet you yours needs it too, and the man to do the job will be at the Harvard Book store tomorrow night. Seriously folks, the English language is a beautiful thing.
So my trendsetting self (and I mean that with a high level of sarcasm) will begin the new month with "Happy May Day" to you all. I'm going to catch up on my sleep now.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Cheater, step off my man! (a column)
Infidelity is one of those dirty little words that can make any woman shudder. If you’re the adulterous and unfaithful doer, then perhaps it’s thrilling, but if you’re on the receiving end, it can be one of the worst and most enraging slaps in the face. Despite how much you trust him, you can’t help but worry and wonder where and with whom your man is when he hasn’t returned your third phone call or what he’s doing that’s more important than answering. The fear and suspicion is what’s maddening though. You can’t be 100 percent certain whether you should just take him at his word or if you should try to decipher any hidden or double meanings.
This leads us simply to be suspicious when he’s doing nothing at all. Take my boyfriend, a very charming, handsome, and funny guy, enough so that he wound up with a Saturday radio show gig. His talk show runs the topical gamut of politics, pop culture, legislation, and his girlfriend, who is a devoted listener (true story). His co-host, a “cougar,” as he jokingly calls her (an older woman on the prowl for younger men, although in his co-host’s case, she’s not the prowler-type), loves bringing me up to the point that it embarrasses him. Her latest prank was hosting a marriage advisor, without his knowledge, to discuss his missing the boat at 31 and being at the halfway point in our own relationship. After two years he has to decide whether we’re in for the long haul or parting ways.
Rescuing him from getting picked on by these two women, a caller we’ll identify as Paulette shares that she’s been happily married for 17 years and thinks he has nothing to worry about at his youthful age of 31. A typical caller response, I think nothing of it—until she tells him that he should dump me. What?! Earlier in the show he mentioned a night I showed up half-an-hour late to dinner (sorry, I was at a graphic novel signing, and you guys already know my obsession with comic books), and thinking I was rude and inconsiderate (which I was, and I apologized), he was ready to go home. Apparently Paulette agreed with him, but to the extent that she said I was disrespectful and he deserved better.
Wow. Dump me over a 30-minute delay and disregard the last year of sharing our lives. Annoyed, I bring this up with him, but he says pay no mind to it—she’s just a caller. So I don’t…that is, until the next morning, when he emails me that Paulette had called him at work at 8 a.m. to say she’s sorry that the women on the show made fun of him, but she’s in support of him and thinks he’s funny. He didn’t know whether to be flattered or scared that she tracked him down.
This woman had guts. First, a caller’s response on a Saturday is no big deal, but to actually go through the trouble of hunting someone down instantly sends a red flag. And happily married? I think not. Not if you’re going to call a talk show host at work to give him support about an inconsequential talk show hour that he’s already forgotten. And that’s when the warning bell goes off—she’s a cougar after my cub (theoretically, my man).
It’s no secret that marriages can become stale and predictable and each partner craves that excitement or chase, but I hadn’t expected a married woman to come on to my man on public radio (and then on his private line). He told me I had nothing to fear, which I do believe, but that still got me thinking, seriously, cheater or wanna-be-one, step off!
Some women who love the game just have to go after the harder target—the taken one. They’ll wiggle their way for a man’s attention just to feed their egos. They don’t care if they ruin happy homes, and surely, their own husbands don’t realize they live in ruined homes. But in defense of the cheaters, it’s said they just can’t stop cheating. Around 70 percent of women initiate divorces because of their dissatisfaction with their current relationships. By then, a good number have already had an adulterous affair. There is even a website promoting a book about female infidelity and understanding why you just have to do it. The support system for the cheater is remarkable.
But I have no tolerance, nor should I. Thankfully, I’m secure enough in my relationship to know Paulette would not lure my boyfriend at all. Cougars just aren’t his type. And aside from my getting suspicious that there are possibilities out there to lead him astray, I accept it as just a fact of life while women continue to walk the earth. I’ll still cringe at the idea of infidelity affecting my happy home, but Paulette’s not going to be the one to do it.
This leads us simply to be suspicious when he’s doing nothing at all. Take my boyfriend, a very charming, handsome, and funny guy, enough so that he wound up with a Saturday radio show gig. His talk show runs the topical gamut of politics, pop culture, legislation, and his girlfriend, who is a devoted listener (true story). His co-host, a “cougar,” as he jokingly calls her (an older woman on the prowl for younger men, although in his co-host’s case, she’s not the prowler-type), loves bringing me up to the point that it embarrasses him. Her latest prank was hosting a marriage advisor, without his knowledge, to discuss his missing the boat at 31 and being at the halfway point in our own relationship. After two years he has to decide whether we’re in for the long haul or parting ways.
Rescuing him from getting picked on by these two women, a caller we’ll identify as Paulette shares that she’s been happily married for 17 years and thinks he has nothing to worry about at his youthful age of 31. A typical caller response, I think nothing of it—until she tells him that he should dump me. What?! Earlier in the show he mentioned a night I showed up half-an-hour late to dinner (sorry, I was at a graphic novel signing, and you guys already know my obsession with comic books), and thinking I was rude and inconsiderate (which I was, and I apologized), he was ready to go home. Apparently Paulette agreed with him, but to the extent that she said I was disrespectful and he deserved better.
Wow. Dump me over a 30-minute delay and disregard the last year of sharing our lives. Annoyed, I bring this up with him, but he says pay no mind to it—she’s just a caller. So I don’t…that is, until the next morning, when he emails me that Paulette had called him at work at 8 a.m. to say she’s sorry that the women on the show made fun of him, but she’s in support of him and thinks he’s funny. He didn’t know whether to be flattered or scared that she tracked him down.
This woman had guts. First, a caller’s response on a Saturday is no big deal, but to actually go through the trouble of hunting someone down instantly sends a red flag. And happily married? I think not. Not if you’re going to call a talk show host at work to give him support about an inconsequential talk show hour that he’s already forgotten. And that’s when the warning bell goes off—she’s a cougar after my cub (theoretically, my man).
It’s no secret that marriages can become stale and predictable and each partner craves that excitement or chase, but I hadn’t expected a married woman to come on to my man on public radio (and then on his private line). He told me I had nothing to fear, which I do believe, but that still got me thinking, seriously, cheater or wanna-be-one, step off!
Some women who love the game just have to go after the harder target—the taken one. They’ll wiggle their way for a man’s attention just to feed their egos. They don’t care if they ruin happy homes, and surely, their own husbands don’t realize they live in ruined homes. But in defense of the cheaters, it’s said they just can’t stop cheating. Around 70 percent of women initiate divorces because of their dissatisfaction with their current relationships. By then, a good number have already had an adulterous affair. There is even a website promoting a book about female infidelity and understanding why you just have to do it. The support system for the cheater is remarkable.
But I have no tolerance, nor should I. Thankfully, I’m secure enough in my relationship to know Paulette would not lure my boyfriend at all. Cougars just aren’t his type. And aside from my getting suspicious that there are possibilities out there to lead him astray, I accept it as just a fact of life while women continue to walk the earth. I’ll still cringe at the idea of infidelity affecting my happy home, but Paulette’s not going to be the one to do it.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Hellboy! etc...
I was told that I should write on my blog more often. I find this space more for self-release and musings, than anything else, but if there are folks who enjoy what I feel compelled to share, fabulous. Read on.
My second short for The Boston Phoenix printed today, titled Raising Hellboy about Mike Mignola's wisecracking paranormal detective from the underworld, Hellboy (read my blog post "Just a Tad Nervous..." below for an idea what I'm talking about and for a visual of the comic book character).
Mignola's and director Guillermo del Toro have their second movie release, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, coming to theaters July 11th. That's a nice belated birthday present, if I say so myself. This was a fun piece to write, so enjoy. OR, even better, pick up the comic book.
My second short for The Boston Phoenix printed today, titled Raising Hellboy about Mike Mignola's wisecracking paranormal detective from the underworld, Hellboy (read my blog post "Just a Tad Nervous..." below for an idea what I'm talking about and for a visual of the comic book character).
Mignola's and director Guillermo del Toro have their second movie release, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, coming to theaters July 11th. That's a nice belated birthday present, if I say so myself. This was a fun piece to write, so enjoy. OR, even better, pick up the comic book.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Checking Out
I don't understand how some people can function without going on vacation every few weeks/months. Seriously, call this my stating an obvious fact for those of us still in graduate school, but you reach your breaking point and all you can do is seriously just check out and leave before your brain melts. That's how I feel right now. I'm finally done for the week and am out of here in the morning, and it couldn't have come at a better time.
Don't get me wrong—life has been pretty good in terms of relationships, school, and work. But when everything starts piling on top of one another at a frightening pace, I tend to freeze up and want to escape. I just hit that point, and it's really funny how well timed tomorrow's flight is.
Yeah, quit my whining and my weeping, you're going away! I know, but that's not my point—I'm not rubbing that fact in. I just wanted to be very clear in expressing how thankful I am that sometimes, when it's most needed, life can be somewhat put on hold.
Thank God.
Don't get me wrong—life has been pretty good in terms of relationships, school, and work. But when everything starts piling on top of one another at a frightening pace, I tend to freeze up and want to escape. I just hit that point, and it's really funny how well timed tomorrow's flight is.
Yeah, quit my whining and my weeping, you're going away! I know, but that's not my point—I'm not rubbing that fact in. I just wanted to be very clear in expressing how thankful I am that sometimes, when it's most needed, life can be somewhat put on hold.
Thank God.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Just a Tad Nervous...
So it's no big secret that I like to write—it's a bit of an ego-trip for any writer to see their byline in print. It's likewise no big secret that I'm a comic book fan, though I've moved from the mainstream superhero genre that rules the Marvel and DC universes into much more darker and off-color graphic novels and story lines. Everything pales in comparison to Neil Gaiman's The Sandman and for those who know my spending habits well enough, against my better judgment of saving my rebate check, I will be spending it on these marvelous statue bookends of my favorite fictional characters ever, Dream and Death.
In short, combine the two together, my love of writing and of comic books, and there you go, it's a match perfectly made for me. So in my quest of working on this perfect marriage, I'm keeping an eye out for anything comic book-related in the media, which is actually no small matter since there's become a big craze lately about all things superhero: March 10th's The New Yorker had a "Reflections" piece by Michael Chabon about superheroes, and the New York MET will be running an exhibit about superheroes influencing fashion from May through September. Books keep coming out about the medium (i.e., David Hajdu's The Ten-Cent Plague: The Great Comic-Book Scare and How It Changed America, who will be speaking at the Brattle Theater on Thursday, April 3rd, at 6pm, sponsored by The Harvard Bookstore) and Art New England just ran a feature about the beginnings of graphic novels in their February/March 08 issue, so now's my time to shine, right? I just need to nail a few pieces about the genre and then I'll be on my way...to what though?
I remember when my biggest dream was working for DC or Marvel when I grew up—I didn't know in what capacity. I suppose it would have been as an editor or writer, since that's my thing now, but is that the direction I'm going in? I have an interview with Hellboy (pictured below) creator, Mike Mignola (who will be at the ICA also on Thursday, April 3rd, at 6:30pm), in an hour, for a Q&A in the March 27th edition of The Boston Phoenix and I'm scared. Yes, I did the research, have my questions, know my stuff, but I can't help feeling nervous and downright scared. I suppose not about the interview so much, but about where I'm actually going and what my future goals are. I don't know anymore...I just don't know. But hell, as scared as I am, boy are the possibilities exciting.
In short, combine the two together, my love of writing and of comic books, and there you go, it's a match perfectly made for me. So in my quest of working on this perfect marriage, I'm keeping an eye out for anything comic book-related in the media, which is actually no small matter since there's become a big craze lately about all things superhero: March 10th's The New Yorker had a "Reflections" piece by Michael Chabon about superheroes, and the New York MET will be running an exhibit about superheroes influencing fashion from May through September. Books keep coming out about the medium (i.e., David Hajdu's The Ten-Cent Plague: The Great Comic-Book Scare and How It Changed America, who will be speaking at the Brattle Theater on Thursday, April 3rd, at 6pm, sponsored by The Harvard Bookstore) and Art New England just ran a feature about the beginnings of graphic novels in their February/March 08 issue, so now's my time to shine, right? I just need to nail a few pieces about the genre and then I'll be on my way...to what though?
I remember when my biggest dream was working for DC or Marvel when I grew up—I didn't know in what capacity. I suppose it would have been as an editor or writer, since that's my thing now, but is that the direction I'm going in? I have an interview with Hellboy (pictured below) creator, Mike Mignola (who will be at the ICA also on Thursday, April 3rd, at 6:30pm), in an hour, for a Q&A in the March 27th edition of The Boston Phoenix and I'm scared. Yes, I did the research, have my questions, know my stuff, but I can't help feeling nervous and downright scared. I suppose not about the interview so much, but about where I'm actually going and what my future goals are. I don't know anymore...I just don't know. But hell, as scared as I am, boy are the possibilities exciting.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Graphic Novelist Q & A
Friends, I can finally say I made it and am in with the big dogs now.
Adrian Tomine will be speaking next week Thursday at 6pm at the Brattle Theater in Harvard Square, Cambridge, to promote his first graphic novel Shortcomings. Read my Q&A with Tomine in The Boston Phoenix.
I strongly encourage any comic geeks to attend. It should be a good time.
Adrian Tomine will be speaking next week Thursday at 6pm at the Brattle Theater in Harvard Square, Cambridge, to promote his first graphic novel Shortcomings. Read my Q&A with Tomine in The Boston Phoenix.
I strongly encourage any comic geeks to attend. It should be a good time.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Damn old Valentine's Day
I have always had a problem with Valentine’s Day. No, not because I was dumped on the day, nor am I single or an embittered ex-girlfriend. I have always disliked the expectations surrounding the holiday and how it is so over-rated. This is the day to declare devoted love for your significant other — men shower their women with gifts and “sincere” attention, while women don their sexiest lingerie for a wild and crazy night. So many expectations all for one day and night, never mind the other 364 days of the year. And the commercialism! It’s simply ludicrous how much chocolate is produced, flowers bought, heart-shaped products created, and jewels sold.
Maybe I’m overreacting, except that when channel-surfing this past weekend, I noticed that all the commercials seemed to cater to the holiday. Take, for example, Nivea Smooth Sensations lotion, which asked the viewer, “What’s the difference between Valentine’s Day and Valentine’ night? Smoothness” — and then a happy couple rolls around in bed, with their legs entwined. Yes, because lotion will enhance my time in bed with my man (though I suppose dry skin can be a turn off). Or my favorite, KY brand Intrigue, whose tagline is, “To enhance your most intimate moments…Happy Valentine’s Day.” Can we please cater more to sex, please. And I won’t even get into the movies featured on cable (Serendipity, Bridget Jone’s Diary, Shakespeare in Love) or the emails I’ve been getting (Chronicle Books “Love is in the Air” email publicizing Real Life Romance). Enough already, right? I get the point that I need to buy stuff, need to pamper my body for my man, need to watch other people’s love lives in misery to appreciate my own.
But then, one of two things happened that changed my entire view about the holiday. I happened to fall on that TV series that all women are obsessed with called Sex and the City. And for whatever reason, call it Cupid hitting me with an arrow to stop my grumbling, I stay on the channel and watch a few episodes. I’ve never had any interest in the storyline about four posh, single women taking New York and its men by storm. Boy, am I floored. Yes, there are women having sex, one-night stands, sex, finding love, and did I say sex? But there’s a key difference atypical to just four women trying to find love (and sex)—they’re actually enjoying their singleness at the same time. These are strong, single women who want men but don’t need them. Screw the holiday bonanza that’s happening everywhere else in the world, on TV, online, and in stores—these four fictional characters are going through life as women should, without needing the candy-coated holidays to enjoy the thrills and frills of being a women whom men should appreciate.
But my second reason for a sudden change of heart about holiday’s relevance is my boyfriend. A great guy in general, who is overall very generous, charming, and sweet, yet unfortunately, he has a medical condition I refer to as emotional constipation. In simpler terms, it’s a case of insensitivity. Men—they’re great in some departments, yet lacking in others. He had shared the same sentiments as I about the holiday: it’s over-rated, it’s just a commercial holiday to help everyone make money, and it rubs in single people’s faces that they’re alone. We had agreed to treat it like any other day, have our usual date night out, without any expectations from each other.
Then I hear him on the radio (he hosts a radio show on Boston’s WRKO) telling listeners how I’m making it a big deal and, “isn’t it enough that I’m spending time with her, returning her phone calls, and not running game” (the equivalency of not cheating)? Excuse me? Should I be thankful? Should I be content with knowing that men everywhere might share this same notion that aren’t they doing enough for women by just being with us? I think not. And if this is the holiday where it’s a forced appreciation day, fine, I’m for it. It saddens me that it is so commercialized, but apparently men need a reminder that women should be appreciated. Dote on us, send us flowers, tell us you love us, while we remind ourselves that this is our day to feel special.
Yes, my boyfriend is in trouble, and am I going to milk it for all its worth? Yes. Why? Because I deserve it.
Maybe I’m overreacting, except that when channel-surfing this past weekend, I noticed that all the commercials seemed to cater to the holiday. Take, for example, Nivea Smooth Sensations lotion, which asked the viewer, “What’s the difference between Valentine’s Day and Valentine’ night? Smoothness” — and then a happy couple rolls around in bed, with their legs entwined. Yes, because lotion will enhance my time in bed with my man (though I suppose dry skin can be a turn off). Or my favorite, KY brand Intrigue, whose tagline is, “To enhance your most intimate moments…Happy Valentine’s Day.” Can we please cater more to sex, please. And I won’t even get into the movies featured on cable (Serendipity, Bridget Jone’s Diary, Shakespeare in Love) or the emails I’ve been getting (Chronicle Books “Love is in the Air” email publicizing Real Life Romance). Enough already, right? I get the point that I need to buy stuff, need to pamper my body for my man, need to watch other people’s love lives in misery to appreciate my own.
But then, one of two things happened that changed my entire view about the holiday. I happened to fall on that TV series that all women are obsessed with called Sex and the City. And for whatever reason, call it Cupid hitting me with an arrow to stop my grumbling, I stay on the channel and watch a few episodes. I’ve never had any interest in the storyline about four posh, single women taking New York and its men by storm. Boy, am I floored. Yes, there are women having sex, one-night stands, sex, finding love, and did I say sex? But there’s a key difference atypical to just four women trying to find love (and sex)—they’re actually enjoying their singleness at the same time. These are strong, single women who want men but don’t need them. Screw the holiday bonanza that’s happening everywhere else in the world, on TV, online, and in stores—these four fictional characters are going through life as women should, without needing the candy-coated holidays to enjoy the thrills and frills of being a women whom men should appreciate.
But my second reason for a sudden change of heart about holiday’s relevance is my boyfriend. A great guy in general, who is overall very generous, charming, and sweet, yet unfortunately, he has a medical condition I refer to as emotional constipation. In simpler terms, it’s a case of insensitivity. Men—they’re great in some departments, yet lacking in others. He had shared the same sentiments as I about the holiday: it’s over-rated, it’s just a commercial holiday to help everyone make money, and it rubs in single people’s faces that they’re alone. We had agreed to treat it like any other day, have our usual date night out, without any expectations from each other.
Then I hear him on the radio (he hosts a radio show on Boston’s WRKO) telling listeners how I’m making it a big deal and, “isn’t it enough that I’m spending time with her, returning her phone calls, and not running game” (the equivalency of not cheating)? Excuse me? Should I be thankful? Should I be content with knowing that men everywhere might share this same notion that aren’t they doing enough for women by just being with us? I think not. And if this is the holiday where it’s a forced appreciation day, fine, I’m for it. It saddens me that it is so commercialized, but apparently men need a reminder that women should be appreciated. Dote on us, send us flowers, tell us you love us, while we remind ourselves that this is our day to feel special.
Yes, my boyfriend is in trouble, and am I going to milk it for all its worth? Yes. Why? Because I deserve it.
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